Fuck appropriateness.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
my being single is dangerous.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
