2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
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after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
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Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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