If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
