I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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