We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
This is the high leading the old right now
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
