There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
