Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize