I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
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I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
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you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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