idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
