Jerry, you need to find god
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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