My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
