Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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