it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
no you cant smoke seaweed
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Randomize
