Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
