I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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