The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Randomize
