After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
