Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
