The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
