Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
