That's when you crack a 10am beer
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
