Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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