it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
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