i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
