My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
