They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
