remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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