Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
