The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
