Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm both gender and math confused
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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