I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
