I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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