You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
