Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
