i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
