So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
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Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
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I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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