i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize