Hey man sorry I got all grabby
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
How's work?
Spinning.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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