The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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