but the lizard people decide everything anyway
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
