the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
