So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
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