I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize