I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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