never play flip cup with pint glasses
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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