I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
