it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I need a burrito and a hug.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
