Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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