Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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