You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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