highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
