So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
