He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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