we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
