Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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