Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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