How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
