PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
